ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And faith in G-d

I had an interesting experience at the bank today. I was in line waiting to deposit some checks (I love the unemployment thing, it seems that I'm actually making more money then I did at my old job. Plus I have a lot more free time ). Anyways I figured that I would go at around 10 in the morning to avoid any lines, and I was in luck, when I arrived there was only one person in line in front of me.

Anyways, I thought this was going to be a quick visit.

The guy in front of me approached the counter, a real sketchy looking guy, with a ripped tee shirt, short shorts, and high black socks with sandals, and when he finished his transaction , started to walk away from the counter.

I took a step forward waiting for the teller to call me over when the man was back. He showed her his statement and demanded to know why there was a $2.50 charge on his statement. She told him that he had used the banks phone service more then the allotted free time a month, so he was charged an extra 50 cents for each time he used it.
Anyways he went into his whole "I didn't use it," and "the damn thing cut me off! They charged me for it?"

A line had started to form behind me and people started whispering, and asking if anyone wanted to just give this guy $2.50 so we could carry on with our business. The funny thing is that during this entire process that took about 10 minutes, there were three teller slots open, and this guy had managed to get every single one of them to stop what they were doing and help him.

I was just standing there, being very proud at myself for not getting angry like the people behind me were. If G-d was testing me, seeing if I could get angry or not, he's going to have to try harder.

The Gemarah in Yevamos 96 (the Daf 2 days ago) it says a story of two Rabbis in a shul in Tevaria, who were so angry with each other a Sefer Torah was ripped. Another Rabbi approached and told them that because of their anger, the shul would one day turn into a house of idol worship.

And it did.

I once heard one of my Rabbeim say that anger is like idol worship. He was quoting someone else whose name slips my mind right now. (Ironic since the case in the Gemarah was about one person being angry at another who didn't quote one of his teachings. Hopefully this post won't result in anything negative.)

How is anger like idol worship?

I'll put it like this: someone who (chas v'Shalom) gets angry he is saying that there is no G-d in the world.

Why?

If someone is angry about something, it usually has something to do with his frustration over a lack of control in a certain area. If he is upset with his lack of control, he's showing that he doesn't believe that G-d is in full control of everything. And if someone doesn't believe that G-d has full control of everything, it will lead to him not believing that G-d exists, which will then lead him into a life of idol worship.

That is why it is extremely important to never become angry.

I remember a story I heard Rav Avraham Twerski (see I remembered to quote him this time!) once say about a certain couple. The husband said that he and his wife simply didn't fight anymore. When asked why they didn't fight the husband replied very simply:

"I realized that the point of our fighting was so that I could win the argument. But then I realized that if I won the argument, she lost it. I didn't want to be married to a loser so we just stopped arguing!"

How's THAT for a Shalom Bayis story!

So remember anytime you feel angry about anything, try to identify why you're angry. Is it because you're trying to compensate for something? If you need to vent, do what I did and start writing a blog, I've found that this is a great way to blow off steam while at the same time doing a productive positive thing.

In most cases the reason someone is angry at someone/something has nothing to with that particular person, animal or object. Say someone asked for a raise at work and was refused. So instead of taking his frustrations out on his boss (probably a good thing) he goes home and vents on his kids, wife, dog (not such a good thing), without ever getting to the root of his problem.

Why does he want to get a raise in the first place? Is it because he is having trouble making ends meet? Or is it because he wants to buy an expensive car or another 'thing?'

If it's because he wants another toy (I think I've already written a post about that) he has another issue, an issue in his self esteem and self worth. Thinking that he needs "things" to define his self worth.

If that's the case, his boss is the least of his worries.

If it's because he can't make ends meet, there are other issues that need to be addressed. I don't want to claim that I have answers to parnussa issues, but we all have to remember that Hashem has already written how successful we'll be financially at Rosh Hashana time.

(But for practical tips on various financial endeavorers I would recommend subscribing to Early to Rise, as well as reading Michael Masterson's blog.)

Anyways a few things to think about in our future and hopefully calm lives.